Are You Sitting Down?

I remember when Claire was first diagnosed with her food allergies and an EpiPen was thrown at us. At that moment I was thinking, "God can take this away."  I really believed it, I believed it could happen that second - if that's what He chose.  I told someone (can't remember who) that God can heal Claire.  Lovingly their response was, "One day, maybe one day."  NO - God can heal her now - right now.  I know I got defensive, shocking right?!  I have refused to accept Claire's diagnosis as "forever". 

Yesterday Claire and I headed off to Dallas, just the two of us.  We really had a great, fast trip there. Rewind: over the last several weeks God prompted me to ask about her shellfish allergy.  Really hasn't been brought up since being in Dallas.  So, I asked Dr Silvers and he agreed to retest her there at our next increase. Present Day: I whisper to the front desk that we need to have Claire tested for shellfish and to PLEASE keep it quiet.  Claire's anxiety when it comes to testing is pretty severe.  We go back to the exam room and her sweet nurse walks in with the shellfish paraphernalia.  Claire immediately begins to breathe heavy and tear up.  I assure her the best I can and snuggle her head, since the nurse needs her on her stomach to test.  She takes it like a champ and we wait.

I'm watching her like a hawk.  Her last skin test sent her into anaphylactic shock.  Nothing was happening though.  NOTHING.  You couldn't see the test area except it was wet from the allergen.  Zero swelling.   We wait the 20 minutes and the nurse comes in and cleans off her back and there are no hives.  She's never tested negative before.  My head was spinning.  Dr Silvers walks in and says, "well, looks like she grew out of her shellfish allergy.  You can do a food challenge at home when you're ready.  I don't foresee anything happening!"  What?  Let me get this straight, not only are we working to rid her of her life threatening peanut allergy, but now I am hearing that she has outgrown her life threatening shellfish allergy????  Too much to process.  God healed her.  Completely healed her, in His time.  Not mine. 

Claire takes her dose increase (250mg), we wait for 45 minutes and head out.  I am still in shock.  Part of me wants to send that stupid mama flowers that went to the school board and started all this crap.  If it were not for her, we wouldn't be anywhere near this.  The other part is still irritated that someone could be that dumb - so she's not getting flowers.  ha!! 

By the time school starts Claire will be eating several peanuts a day, twice a day.  That is, if all continues to go as planned.  This morning her throat was itching and her chest got really tight.  But, after lying down for a minute under the fan, it started getting better.  We will stay on this dose for 2 weeks before we increase to our last capsule!  The thought of her putting a peanut in her mouth makes me lose my breath.  But, the Lord has gotten us this far, I have no doubt He will get us to the finish line.  I don't know if everyone can understand what this means for her, for us.  Food will no longer be a threat to her life.  It's not that we can eat out more, but she can DO more.  She couldn't do gymnastics like she wants because her allergies.  The close setting and cross contamination made it impossible.  Her allergens were everywhere.  Sunday School was not an option for the same reason.  Sleep overs weren't even discussed.  A boy kissing her for the first time (in 10 years).  Her life will become limitless. 

One step closer to Claire's Peanut Party!!!  Please continue to pray, Claire is still have stomach problems with her doses as well.  She is such a strong little girl!!!  And, just let me say Cole is ecstatic about the shrimp entering back into our diets!

Horse Pills

Yesterday Claire increased to 175 mg capsule twice a day.  This is a HUGE jump in amount.  She's handling it well so far, just minor stomach problems.  Adam was sweet enough to take her yesterday, but I hate not being there.  Hopefully I won't miss anymore. 

Back to the capsules - they are big.  Like that antibiotic you have to take with a sinus infection.  Thankfully she's not swallowing them, but she has to consume all of the powder that fits in those ginormous vehicles.  We have settled on rice crispy treats to get said powder down.  Hopefully we have this week, then 2 more powder increases.  Then it's peanut time.

I was talking to my nephew, Jonah, today about it.  He asked if I was scared about the first peanut, because he was nervous.  Of course I'm scared, I look to need heavy sedation during the process that day.  Not to mention that at any moment she could relapse.  But again, refer to my previous post, I HAVE to trust the Lord.  There's nothing else I can possibly do. 

We are already seeing the effects of the OIT, she is relaxing some.  Not to the point of talking to someone that talks to her, but even at home with the things she now sees as possibilities.  Truly miraculous.

Her biggest problem at school right now is that too many friends want to sit with her at her peanut table.  All of her friends seem to have embraced this really well too.  We are hoping to have her in full blown peanut mode by the time school starts.  That means BUYING peanuts.  Do you know that last time I bought peanut products?  Almost 6 years ago.  I can't even wrap my head around that part, have them in the pantry and not treating them like grenades.  It's not a big deal to so many - but it's huge for us.

As mentioned in my previous post, please keep my sweet friends in your prayers.  Heather is still working out details with her daddy's things.  Becky, Ally & Camryn are figuring out how to live without husband and dad.  So much sadness, but the strength they have shown is far beyond what I could have imagined.

Hope everyone has a great day - I'll update next week on the even BIGGER pills!

2nd Capsule Increase

Adam and I took Claire last Thursday for her second increase with capsules.  We are working through it, it's a pain in the butt to find things she will eat to transfer all this powder to her mouth.  Not much room for error.  But, we are making it happen.

I have had a hard time figuring out how to type this entry.  My friend Heather buried her daddy last week and I was so heartbroken for her.  We are too young to bury our parents.  The "mamas" took up money to help with food, and while that is still fresh tragedy strikes again.  Precious Becky Lary lost her husband, Richard last Saturday and she buried him Wednesday.  He was only 49.  For those of you that do not know, Mrs. Lary was Cole's first grade teacher. and she is a sweet sweet friend.  Her daughter (Camryn) was Claire's 5th grade buddy.  I can't in all honesty come on here and type about our Dallas Peanut adventures today.  My heart is so heavy for Becky, Ally & Camryn.  It's more than anyone can think of carrying. 

Richard was a type 1 diabetic like Adam is, so Becky and I have talked about that several times.  I have no clue if diabetes lead to his heart attack, God knows.  But, of course my mind immediately went to Adam when I heard.  "I can't lose him." is all I could think.  "God, please don't take him." is what I prayed.  I realized, after several sleepless nights that Becky "couldn't" lose Richard either.  This wasn't because she was "ready," but it was because God had other plans.  I can't lose sleep worrying if I have tomorrow or next week with my family.  Not everyone gets tomorrow. 

Since Claire's diagnosis I have understood that she was in God's hands.  The part that I have a hard time with is ME not being in control of it.  In my heart of hearts I would love to keep my family in a bubble.  Yes, I am controlling............I'm working on that. 

I have been asked hundreds of times how I deal with Claire's allergies.  I don't, God gives me what I need, when I need it.  And I know God has done the same for Heather losing her daddy and Becky and the girls losing a husband and daddy. 

Thinking of dealing with allergies in comparison to the loss they have experienced seems laughable!  My life is truly easy, and I am grateful.

Please pray for these families when God puts them on your heart.